What Can Christian Couples Do Before Marriage?


The time leading up to marriage is especially important for Christian couples because it gives them the chance to establish a solid, God-centered relationship.

Christian couples can engage in a variety of pre-marital activities and practices to enhance their relationship, grow in their faith, and get ready for a lifetime commitment, with an emphasis on upholding biblical principles and values.

To help Christian couples through the pre-marital stage of their relationship, this article covers several positive answers on what can Christian couples do before marriage.

Christian couples can establish a strong foundation for a marriage founded in love, trust, and a shared devotion to God by putting a priority on spiritual development, honest communication, and purposeful bonding.

What Can Christian Couples Do Before Marriage?

Preparing for marriage is an exciting and transformative journey for Christian couples. It is a time to deepen your faith, strengthen your relationship, and lay a solid foundation for a lifelong commitment.

In this article, we will explore important steps that Christian couples can take before marriage to ensure a successful and fulfilling union.

1. Seek God’s Guidance:

As Christians, seeking God’s guidance should be at the forefront of any decision we make, especially regarding marriage.

Prioritize prayer and seek wisdom through the Scriptures. Involve your spiritual mentors or pastors, who can provide valuable guidance and counseling throughout the process.

2. Build a Solid Spiritual Foundation:

Nurture your relationships with God and cultivate a shared spiritual life as a couple. Attend church services together, join a Bible study group, or engage in devotional activities as a couple.

Deepening your faith and aligning your spiritual values will provide a strong foundation for your marriage.

3. Communicate and Discuss Expectations:

Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. Before marriage, have intentional conversations about your expectations, hopes, dreams, and goals.

Discuss important topics such as faith, finances, career aspirations, family planning, and roles within the marriage. This will help you understand each other’s perspectives and find common ground.

3. Pre-Marital Counseling:

Consider participating in pre-marital counseling sessions. These sessions are designed to help couples explore and address potential areas of conflict or concern.

A trained counselor can guide you through important discussions, provide tools for effective communication, and help you develop strategies to navigate challenges that may arise in marriage.

4. Financial Planning and Stewardship:

Financial matters can be a significant source of conflict in marriages. Take time to discuss your financial situations, spending habits, and long-term goals.

Develop a budgeting plan, explore joint bank accounts or separate accounts, and discuss how you will handle financial decisions as a couple. Seek to cultivate good stewardship habits that align with biblical principles.

5. Cultivate Emotional Intimacy:

Emotional intimacy is vital for a healthy and thriving marriage. Spend quality time together, engage in activities that strengthen your bond, and learn effective ways to express love and affection.

Build trust, practice forgiveness, and be committed to supporting each other through life’s ups and downs.

6. Understand Roles and Responsibilities:

Christian couples can benefit from discussing their roles and responsibilities within the marriage.

Explore biblical teachings on marriage and family and discuss how they apply to your relationship. Embrace the concept of servant leadership and mutual submission, where both partners prioritize each other’s needs and work together as a team.

7. Address Past Wounds and Baggage:

Before entering into marriage, it is crucial to address any past wounds or baggage that may hinder your relationship.

Seek healing through forgiveness and reconciliation, and consider seeking professional help if needed. Creating a safe and emotionally healthy environment will allow your marriage to flourish.

Can Christian Couples Sleep In The Same Bed Before Marriage?

various Christian denominations and personal beliefs have various views on whether Christian couples can share a bed before marriage.

This topic is not directly addressed in the Bible, which leaves the possibility for many interpretations.  however, this is a broad summary of the viewpoints that are frequently held by Christians.

Chastity and Purity:

Within Christianity, the value of chastity and purity is often upheld as a way to honor God’s design for sexual intimacy within the context of marriage. The Bible teaches that sexual relations are to be reserved exclusively for the marital relationship.

Sleeping in the same bed before marriage may be seen as a potential temptation or compromise of one’s commitment to purity. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled...” (Hebrews 13:4a)

Avoiding Temptation:

To maintain a physical boundary and minimize the temptation to engage in premarital sexual activity, some Christian couples choose not to sleep in the same bed before marriage.

They believe that by establishing this boundary, they honor God’s commandments and protect the sanctity of the marriage covenant.

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Personal Convictions:

Christian couples often approach the decision of sleeping arrangements based on their convictions and understanding of biblical principles.

They prayerfully consider factors such as their commitment to purity, the strength of their self-control, cultural norms, and the potential impact on their relationship and spiritual journey. “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” (Romans 14:5b)

Accountability and Boundaries:

Regardless of the decision regarding sleeping arrangements, Christian couples need to establish clear boundaries and accountability within the relationship.

This includes open and honest communication about their physical boundaries, a commitment to honoring one another’s convictions, and seeking the support and guidance of trusted mentors or pastors.

 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)

Building a Strong Financial Foundation:

Christian couples should prioritize discussing and planning their financial future before marriage. Financial matters can become a significant source of conflict if not addressed early on.

By engaging in open and honest conversations about their financial situations, spending habits, and long-term goals, couples can establish a solid foundation for financial stewardship within their marriage. “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” (Proverbs 21:5)

Cultivating Emotional Intimacy:

In addition to physical and spiritual intimacy, emotional intimacy plays a vital role in a healthy and thriving marriage. Christian couples can take several steps to cultivate emotional intimacy before marriage:

Quality Time Together: Spend intentional and uninterrupted time with each other. Engage in activities that promote bonding and connection, such as going on dates, taking walks, or enjoying shared hobbies.

This allows couples to deepen their understanding of one another and build a strong emotional connection. “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil.(Ecclesiastes 4:9)

Understanding Roles and Responsibilities:

Christian couples can benefit from discussing and understanding their roles and responsibilities within the context of marriage. This involves exploring biblical teachings on marriage and family and how they apply to their relationship:

Servant Leadership: Embrace the concept of servant leadership, where both partners prioritize each other’s needs and well-being.

This involves sacrificial love, humility, and a willingness to serve and support one another. “But whoever would be great among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 20:26)

Addressing Past Wounds and Baggage:

Before entering into marriage, Christian couples need to address any past wounds or baggage that may hinder their relationship. This involves seeking healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation:

Healing Through Forgiveness: Extend forgiveness to one another for past hurts or mistakes. This frees couples from the burden of carrying resentment and promotes emotional healing.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Is It a Sin For Christians To Kiss Before Marriage?

The question of whether it is a sin for Christians to kiss before marriage is a matter of personal conviction and interpretation of biblical teachings.

The Bible does not explicitly address kissing before marriage, leaving room for differing viewpoints within the Christian community. Here are some perspectives to consider:

Purity and Sexual Boundaries:

Some Christians believe that physical expressions of affection, including kissing, should be reserved for the marriage relationship.

They emphasize the importance of maintaining purity and avoiding sexual temptation or compromising one’s commitment to sexual abstinence before marriage. “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality…” (Ephesians 5:3a)

Context and Intent:

Others believe that the appropriateness of kissing before marriage depends on the context and intent behind the action.

If the kiss is a genuine expression of love, affection, and respect within a committed and God-honoring relationship, they may see it as acceptable.“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)

Wisdom and Self-Control:

Some Christians approach the question of kissing before marriage with an emphasis on wisdom and self-control.

They believe that couples should prayerfully discern their limits and boundaries, taking into account their personal convictions, level of self-control, and the potential impact on their spiritual and emotional well-being.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

Individuals and couples need to seek guidance from God, study the Scriptures, and engage in open and honest communication with their partners and spiritual mentors.

It is advisable to consider the cultural norms and societal expectations surrounding dating and relationships, while also being mindful of personal convictions and values.

While different Christians may hold different viewpoints on this matter, it is crucial to approach it with grace, respect, and a desire to honor God and one another in all decisions related to physical intimacy.

Level Of Intimacy Before Marriage

The level of intimacy before marriage is a topic that has been subject to diverse perspectives and cultural norms throughout history.

Today, as societal attitudes continue to evolve, individuals hold varying beliefs and values when it comes to physical and emotional intimacy before exchanging vows.

This article aims to explore the spectrum of intimacy before marriage, acknowledging the importance of communication, personal boundaries, and mutual respect in navigating this aspect of relationships.

Individual Beliefs and Values:

People’s beliefs and values play a crucial role in determining their comfort level with intimacy before marriage. Cultural, religious, and personal factors all contribute to shaping these beliefs.

Some individuals adhere to traditional values and choose to abstain from physical intimacy until after marriage. For them, preserving the sanctity of marriage and demonstrating commitment may be paramount.

Others embrace a more liberal perspective, believing that exploring physical and emotional connections can enhance their understanding and compatibility as a couple.

Healthy relationships are built on effective communication, and this is especially true when discussing intimacy. Open and honest conversations about individual desires, expectations, and boundaries are crucial for both partners.

Establishing consent and understanding each other’s comfort zones helps foster trust and respect within the relationship.

Couples can engage in ongoing discussions to ensure that both parties feel heard and that their emotional and physical needs are being met.

Emotional Intimacy:

Intimacy encompasses more than just physical aspects. Emotional intimacy, characterized by trust, vulnerability, and deep connection, is an essential component of any relationship.

Building emotional intimacy before marriage can create a solid foundation for a lifelong partnership.

Sharing feelings, experiences, and dreams can strengthen the bond between partners and lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and desires.

Physical Intimacy:

Physical intimacy before marriage can range from holding hands, hugging, and kissing to sexual activity.

The decision to engage in physical intimacy before marriage is deeply personal and depends on individual comfort levels and relationship dynamics.

Couples must establish clear boundaries and respect each other’s choices. Consensual physical intimacy can foster closeness and help partners explore their sexual compatibility, but it should always be approached with mutual consent and respect.

The Role of Personal Growth:

Each individual’s journey of personal growth and self-discovery is unique. Some may find that exploring physical and emotional intimacy before marriage contributes to their personal development, allowing them to better understand themselves and their desires.

Others may choose to focus on personal growth independently, believing that marriage itself will bring new levels of intimacy.

It is essential to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach and that individuals should honor their paths.


In conclusion, Christian couples have a huge chance to invest in their relationship and progress spiritually together throughout the pre-marital stage.

Christian couples can strengthen their relationship, promote open communication, and provide a strong basis for their future marriage by partaking in activities that are consistent with their beliefs and values.

Pre-marital counseling, Bible study, community service, and prayer are just a few examples of purposeful practices that can help couples develop a relationship that is centered on God and governed by His principles.

Christian couples can begin their marital journey with a strong sense of purpose, unity, and a shared commitment to living out their faith in their marriage by embracing these chances for development and contemplation.

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